PARENTING. LIFE. WORK. BALANCE.
Give yourself Grace
“Give yourself Grace is permission to forgive your mistakes, lapses in judgment, and hurtful behavior, because no one is perfect.” In today’s society the pressure of being “perfect” is absolutely insane. But, really… is anyone perfect? Because I certainly have NOT met anyone who truly matches that perception. Now let’s amplify that with being a mom and working. We have to give ourselves permission that it is OKAY to make mistakes (I sure as hell do all the time) and sometimes we will mess up. I mean, I walked in the kitchen the other day to find my 1 year old chowing down on some dog food #momwin. But in all reality, giving ourselves some grace lets us go through life, parenting, and working full time to make ends meet a little more manageable.
Going back to work after having my second son was no joke. I was extremely fortunate that I got 6 months with him before I had to go back (because, ya know #summerbreak) but that didn’t make the transition any easier. I felt like I was being a bad mom for being at work and on the flip side a bad teacher for wanting to be home with my kids. WHY DO WE HAVE TO FEEL LIKE THAT? The struggle is real. It will eventually get easier, it has in the last several months, but I had to set my priorities and look at what was most important to me. I made a list… I’m a teacher, what can I say! Here's the list:
Priorities at work: be in the moment with my students, enjoy what I am doing, work hard at work BUT don’t bring it home
Priorities at home: be present with my kids, turn my work brain off, do things for myself, spend as much quality time as possible with the entire family
After looking at my list of priorities, the ones that stood out to me the most had to be “work hard at work, but don’t bring it home” and “be present with my kids.” Let me tell you… being a teacher you ALWAYS want to bring what you are doing home with you. Grading, planning, student issues, peer issues, my students baggage, and the list continues. My brain almost never truly “turns off” from the crazy that happens on a daily basis, but I try my hardest to do that. When I am home, I want my family to know that I am with them fully, physically and mentally. So, do I leave work right away? You betcha. I have to allow myself some grace and understanding that by leaving right away when my work day is done is not being a bad employee, rather it is letting me achieve the goal of being at home with babies because they will never be this little again. Give yourself Grace.
Don’t overload yourself
Could I overload my plate and work until 7 pm every night? 100%. But will I do it? Nope. Don’t get me wrong… I love my job, but I also have a young family that I have to focus on.
It is OKAY to put your work down and be in the moment!
I am someone who tends to make rash decisions and then suffer the consequences after. “I can do it” I find myself saying, but really… Can I actually do it? I have learned a whole lot over the last couple months. I got myself into some situations that I thought I could totally figure out and make it “work.” Unfortunately, I realized that I made some huge mistakes and was suffering the consequences. I overloaded myself. For the last 3 weeks, I have been an anxious mess and having panic attacks nearly every day. Why? Why am I doing this to myself? So, I gave up something I longed for. I am not one to give up easily as I am a hard worker and determined! But I also need to know that I cannot overload myself, I have to give myself grace, and understand what is best for my mental health. Working, being a mom of 2, having a dog, having a husband who works an hour away, and trying to balance everything got to be too much. Ultimately, do what is best for YOU. Listen to your instincts and try not to overload yourself. Make sure you have a balance to life that works. Even though I had to make a heart wrenching decision to help ease my load, I did it and I have learned so much about myself. This has really allowed me to reflect on myself and know what limits I have, along with not taking things that I already have for granted. So here is my advice to you: slow down and live in the moment.